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October 23, 2019 at 5:22 PMKCEE
Arguments and disagreements are part of every relationship. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner; there’s always something to argue or disagree over.
But there are certain things that you must agree on before taking your relationship to the next level. Otherwise, the relationship may not stand the test of time.
Like I always tell people, love is not the most important consideration when choosing a life partner. Some people are madly in love with themselves, but their marriage didn’t last. Do know why? It’s because they fail to agree on some sensitive issues.
So, if you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you agree on certain things before taking the relationship seriously. So, in this article, you will learn the things to agree on before engaging a Nigerian lady.
Crucial Things to Agree on Before Engaging A Nigerian Lady
If there’s no commitment in a marriage, such union will not stand the test of time. One partner will always feel cheated and this will degenerate to a serious marital crisis.
So, before you decide to engage her, ensure that you guys share the same view on commitment. Every beautiful or successful marriage, you see is a function of both partners’ commitment.
And once you discover that the lady isn’t ready for commitment, please don’t engage her. She can never give you a good home. Trust me; nothing frustrates a man than having a wife who’s not committed to the marriage.
It’s better to break up a five years relationship than marrying someone who will not be loyal to the marriage.
This is another area Nigerian couples often have issues in marriage. Ensure you agree on this with your girlfriend before taking the relationship to the next level.
Privacy in this context has to do with access to your cell phones and other personal belongings. If you guys both agree that you want to be open with each other, it’s okay.
This means that your girlfriend has your phone pin or pattern and you have hers too. It also indicates that you can sneak into her phone and check what she is doing and who she’s chatting with. Similarly, she can do the same with you.
If you both agree on this and it has been working for you guys for a while. Then you are in the right direction.
#3. Bestie And Ex
You see these two guys – Bestie and Ex, they have destroyed many homes. About 67% of infidelity in marriages are with Besties and Ex. Yes, it’s that serious.
If you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you guys agree on the fact that no male besties or unnecessary contact with Ex. Don’t take the relationship to the next level if you guys haven’t agreed on this.
My friend had a terrible experience with his girlfriend during our NYSC days. His girlfriend was always around a guy who she claimed was her best friend. According to her, the Akwa Ibom boy was like a brother to her, nothing more.
My friend innocently allowed things to go because he wanted to be a gentleman. Guess what happened? He met the so-called bestie in banging his girlfriend. It was a terrible experience, and they ended the relationship.
Imagined my guy didn’t discover this thing on time… What do you think would have happened? The bestie would have still been banging her in my friend’s house.
If you are dating a Nigerian girl who’s fond of contacting her ex all the time, don’t take that relationship seriously. You guys can still be having fun together, but it will be dangerous to marry such lady. Okafor law is dangerous and never allow anybody to manifest it on your woman.
#4. How You Settle Disputes
I have always mentioned that there’s no perfect relationship anywhere. To the best of my knowledge, you only see perfect relationships in Zeeworld, Nollywood, etc.
So, if you are expecting a relationship without disputes or fight, you are living in a fool’s paradise.
It doesn’t matter how many times you fight in a relationship. What matters is how you guys settle your disputes.
If your lady always shuts down and gives you the silent treatment after every argument, try to work on it before engaging her. If you can’t find your way around it, then she is not your soulmate.
How will you feel if your wife is keeping malice with you over a little disagreement? It won’t make sense.
Lifestyle is another area you must agree on. If your girlfriend is living a lifestyle you don’t like, try to discuss it with her. Don’t allow love to accept what will not work for you. It will never end well for you.
If she goes to clubs and parties, talk to her about it. And if you guys aren’t on the same page about it, don’t take the relationship seriously. You will always have severe issues with her if your lifestyle differs from hers.
#6. The Name Game
This is another important area you should agree on. Do you want her to change her surname to yours? If yes, discuss it with her while dating.
Some ‘Nigerian babes dey form feminism’, they may not want to change their surnames. But if you discuss this from the onset, you will not have issues with it.
Career is a sensitive area that must be discussed before you take the relationship to the next level.
If both of you are working, is her career going to affect your family? For instance, if you are a banker and your girlfriend whom you want to marry is also a banker, how do you cope? It won’t be easy.
An ambitious career woman wants to make it to the top of her career ladder may not have time for the kids. And if this isn’t something you can take, quietly work out of the relationship. It’s better than having issues in future.
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